Saturday 24 March 2012

Letting go of operating from someone else's perspective...it takes some practice xxx

Beautiful day

Oh beautiful day what joy it is to awaken to thee, my breath is sweet with the nectar of your gentle presence and fills my heart with unimaginable joy...can you feel me as I feel you...but of course...we are one xxx 

Sunday 18 March 2012

Lynx works for women too

I was in London/Enfield last weekend, I went to a 50th birthday party and Salsa on Sunday. 


Just before going out to Salsa I had a moment of...what could I call it...'emotional surfacing of feelings' where feelings of sadness and anger came up. Lately I have been aware of my masculine and feminine essence and to be honest I have more masculine that feminine at the moment...have had for a while. It comes from a lot of things...doing for myself in the way of survival as I see it is one, learning to rely on me. 


So cut back to sunday evening and I am getting ready, pretty dress, legs on show...then thoughts came to me 'how do I remain in my feminine essence and still manage to get lots of dances tonight?' 'there are always more women than men' 'I won't stand a chance' 'I would prefer to be asked but I also want to dance lots tonight' by the time I had finished with my thoughts I really did not want to go anywhere. I have done this in the past where I would decide at the last min especially if I was going on my own, not to go. I then found that another feeling was arising in me, one of anger. 


I vented my angry feelings by shouting out loud, feeling bothered by the fact I was still single after four years and that before the last relationship I was single for five, I vented the fact that yes people found me attractive and a nice person so why was I still single, I vented about how do I soft my edges and still get a dance at salsa. As I vented and shouted...then all of a sudden the anger dissapated.


I felt better instantly, I was aware of how sudden the change was and some how missed it's intensity and strange feeling of comfort. I was puzzeld by this, however let it go just as easy. As I walked to Salsa I realised that I had not put any deorderant on when I got out the bath as I could not find it and thought I had a small can in the bag with my salsa shoes, it was not there. I would be able to borrow some I thought, however when I got to Salsa none of the ladies had any (which was very odd) the only deorderant I could find was a mans Lynx to be exact. So I thought I want to remain in my feminine essence and you bring me Lynx...not funny I thought through my giggles...I couldn't make ths stuff up. 


So I use the Lynx what else could I do...well yes I could have stuck to my natural scent and been paranoid about it so I went with the Lynx.


Lo and behold I managed to attract the attention of two men one of which gave me his undivided attention, summoned me onto the dance floor with masculine latin charm, whispered in my ear of how I came out of his dreams and on to the dance floor, kissed my neck...it was unreal like I was watching a movie. I couldn't help but laugh at the irony of it all. My friends were wondering what was happening, what had I done, the only thing I could put it down to was the Lynx it was such a turn around. 


Even more so now I am care-full of what I wish for but also I am allowing myself to feel the feelings and emotions that arise to their full extent rather than pacify them in some way with a affirmation or a reason. Pushing them down and not acknowledging is no longer something I want to do. I intend to live my life differently and to do that I have to do it differently.


I love this life I am living it's fun to expand and grow...looking forward to bigger and better experiences in which I feel good.


Thank you


Love Claudia xxx


Thursday 15 March 2012

Suggestion:1

Relationship tip: pay attention to the things you like in another...really go to town, noticing all their lovely aspects...allow the feeling to resonate in your heart and spiral outward 


single: remember you're still in a relationship...with yourself...the most important relationship of your life. Become the observer of yourself...notice your lovely aspects too


Thank you xxx