My first post of the year is going to be about men, what I have observed about myself to do with them. It will be interesting to see how much I share...I will always be as honest as I can be.
Where do I start...as you can see/feel I write as I think which can be very random at times.
I found myself feeling very attracted to a particular man I've seen...one that quite funnily I spied on a train journey from Victoria to Eastbourne this Goddess of a man got off at Gatwick (yes I said goddess of a man) then turned up 4 months later at a ceremony honouring divine masculine and divine feminine
When I sat on the train he sat in the section near me...or did I sit near him I cannot remember and right now it does not matter. He travelled with a younger male to which he looked to be brother/guide/mentor or something of that sort. He sat opposite me but on the adjacent isle, feathers hanging from one ear, bearded, long hair in a scruffy sexy american Indian type pony tail.
He took his jumper off to reveal strong arms that had a particular tattoo that surprised and delighted me, it was a tribal type that went around the arm, how ever it was a band of shields. One of the two shields was the shape that came to me only a couple of days before when I was shown to make Archangel Michael shields as protectors for people to wear or place in their cars, I wasn't even sure at the time that that shape shield existed though I must of seen it somewhere, the patterning was exact.
I giggled to myself and told my guides they were not funny however I was secretly pleased with how they got me to pay attention. I took great delight in sharing in the essence of this very rugged man, I bathed in the glory of such a beauty. When he received a phone call I assumed it was his girlfriend and tried not to listen as he spoke in a tender voice to her, still remaining very much in his essence of man.
At this stage I somehow deemed it inappropriate to allow myself to appreciate this fine specimen because he had a girlfriend. I guess I was not just appreciating, I had started polarising into the future and wanting something to happen (as I do) I had conditions!
I checked myself in this moment of realisation and allowed myself to go back to appreciating this gorgeous man, liking a lot his strong gentle voice, the harmonious way he spoke, his kind words, his use of endearments and the obvious and true sentiment behind them, I loved the way he interacted with the lady that wondered if she was in the right part of the train. Talking clearly and with ease, reassuring her with just the tone of his words. I enjoyed his interaction with the younger male, the energy was supportive, nurturing and empowering. I let myself appreciate this man in all his masculine glory bidding him a silent farewell and a lovely journey thinking what a lucky lady his girlfriend is, revelling in the mere crossing of paths and the joy this simple thing brought me, not considering our paths would ever cross again.
It did 4 months later at the winter solstice offering while anointing the men with a Jasmine oil, I was on my knees in front of this man, it was not until the ceremony was over I let myself fully take it in.
I found myself feeling very apprehensive around the men not really feeling that I wanted to engage in conversation after our ceremony had ended. I had thought it was because I did not have anything to say to any of them, in a small way I felt I was running scared but not, I guess it was adrenalin. When I got home I realised I hadn't really wanted to have conversations around, what people did, or who they were, their job, my job blah blah blah not because I am not interested, because I can be a right old nosey. It was in that moment I did not think I could do it, it felt like pretence to me like I would not be being real...anyway I digress.
Back to the man thing...hmmm what was my point I am not sure as I seem to have gone off on one. Ahh! So I realise that I (and I have known this for sometime now) place men out of my league, based on myself really esteem, confidence whatever it maybe, however I tell myself it has to do with them, what they do, what they look like...I digress again so I am going straight to the point.
My vibration is out of whack for what I am wanting, I know this because of:
1) What I am attracting ~ men that are attracted to me that are less than desirable that people around me voice their concerns (I am not being mean) about my welfare
2) Feeling very drawn to men that don't really see me and feeling very nervous around them. (I realised today I am their number 3
3) Sensing that some men are afraid to even approach me even if they like me.
So my experiment is to
Be clear to the men at number 1
Step up to the men at number 2 and channel my adrenalin of nervous energy to create some magic...I know I can do this, what form it will take is unknown however I will not be using (the) force (Luke)
Open my heart even more to the men at number 3 be kind and see them as me ,actually do this in all cases, they are me after all.
Return to my heart space as many times during the day as I can.
Write a list of appreciation regarding lovely men I meet on here as well as in my book of appreciation, it felt good to do it today with train guy.
Be mindful of acting conditionally.
Have fun
I love you, Thank you, I am sorry, Please forgive me
Claudia xxx
Day 1 of matrix re-imprinting
Where do I start...as you can see/feel I write as I think which can be very random at times.
I found myself feeling very attracted to a particular man I've seen...one that quite funnily I spied on a train journey from Victoria to Eastbourne this Goddess of a man got off at Gatwick (yes I said goddess of a man) then turned up 4 months later at a ceremony honouring divine masculine and divine feminine
When I sat on the train he sat in the section near me...or did I sit near him I cannot remember and right now it does not matter. He travelled with a younger male to which he looked to be brother/guide/mentor or something of that sort. He sat opposite me but on the adjacent isle, feathers hanging from one ear, bearded, long hair in a scruffy sexy american Indian type pony tail.
He took his jumper off to reveal strong arms that had a particular tattoo that surprised and delighted me, it was a tribal type that went around the arm, how ever it was a band of shields. One of the two shields was the shape that came to me only a couple of days before when I was shown to make Archangel Michael shields as protectors for people to wear or place in their cars, I wasn't even sure at the time that that shape shield existed though I must of seen it somewhere, the patterning was exact.
I giggled to myself and told my guides they were not funny however I was secretly pleased with how they got me to pay attention. I took great delight in sharing in the essence of this very rugged man, I bathed in the glory of such a beauty. When he received a phone call I assumed it was his girlfriend and tried not to listen as he spoke in a tender voice to her, still remaining very much in his essence of man.
At this stage I somehow deemed it inappropriate to allow myself to appreciate this fine specimen because he had a girlfriend. I guess I was not just appreciating, I had started polarising into the future and wanting something to happen (as I do) I had conditions!
I checked myself in this moment of realisation and allowed myself to go back to appreciating this gorgeous man, liking a lot his strong gentle voice, the harmonious way he spoke, his kind words, his use of endearments and the obvious and true sentiment behind them, I loved the way he interacted with the lady that wondered if she was in the right part of the train. Talking clearly and with ease, reassuring her with just the tone of his words. I enjoyed his interaction with the younger male, the energy was supportive, nurturing and empowering. I let myself appreciate this man in all his masculine glory bidding him a silent farewell and a lovely journey thinking what a lucky lady his girlfriend is, revelling in the mere crossing of paths and the joy this simple thing brought me, not considering our paths would ever cross again.
It did 4 months later at the winter solstice offering while anointing the men with a Jasmine oil, I was on my knees in front of this man, it was not until the ceremony was over I let myself fully take it in.
I found myself feeling very apprehensive around the men not really feeling that I wanted to engage in conversation after our ceremony had ended. I had thought it was because I did not have anything to say to any of them, in a small way I felt I was running scared but not, I guess it was adrenalin. When I got home I realised I hadn't really wanted to have conversations around, what people did, or who they were, their job, my job blah blah blah not because I am not interested, because I can be a right old nosey. It was in that moment I did not think I could do it, it felt like pretence to me like I would not be being real...anyway I digress.
Back to the man thing...hmmm what was my point I am not sure as I seem to have gone off on one. Ahh! So I realise that I (and I have known this for sometime now) place men out of my league, based on myself really esteem, confidence whatever it maybe, however I tell myself it has to do with them, what they do, what they look like...I digress again so I am going straight to the point.
My vibration is out of whack for what I am wanting, I know this because of:
1) What I am attracting ~ men that are attracted to me that are less than desirable that people around me voice their concerns (I am not being mean) about my welfare
2) Feeling very drawn to men that don't really see me and feeling very nervous around them. (I realised today I am their number 3
3) Sensing that some men are afraid to even approach me even if they like me.
So my experiment is to
Be clear to the men at number 1
Step up to the men at number 2 and channel my adrenalin of nervous energy to create some magic...I know I can do this, what form it will take is unknown however I will not be using (the) force (Luke)
Open my heart even more to the men at number 3 be kind and see them as me ,actually do this in all cases, they are me after all.
Return to my heart space as many times during the day as I can.
Write a list of appreciation regarding lovely men I meet on here as well as in my book of appreciation, it felt good to do it today with train guy.
Be mindful of acting conditionally.
Have fun
I love you, Thank you, I am sorry, Please forgive me
Claudia xxx
Day 1 of matrix re-imprinting
