Yesterday I found an old note book (I have loads) it was one from my role as a service team leader for post office tutors ~ I am soliciting for something by stating that not sure what *yet ~ I came to a page where I wrote about masking my vulnerability, I thought it was a good read and wanted to share it.
" I mask my vulnerability with strength, as this is only one outward appearance and not something that reflects what is going on inside. What is within is bound to find it's way out, we all know but may have forgotten that whatever we hide or deny will eventually reveal itself, through situations we find ourselves in or people that come into our lives.
We have the choice then to deal with our vulnerability by facing it or hiding...however just like a game of hide and seek you will be found or you will have to reveal yourself, both have the same outcome, one just takes longer"
written in 2007/8
I had forgotten about writing this, however not about the feeling of the words written it makes more sense to why I began to choose to step into my vulnerability...rather than mask it. When I shared with someone about me SIMV they told me it was emotional suicide, I was shocked by this term and although it did not resonate with me this ladies words bothered me. I was later to realise that it was because I had learned to put other's wisdom before my own, ignoring my own intuition/gut instinct just because of some ones position, experience, credentials.
I choose to keep on stepping into my vulnerability (you can read about some of the in this blog http://crystalangelsxxxrandomness.blogspot.com/2011/04/stepping-into-my-vulnerability.html) even going as far as telling someone I had a crush on that I was attracted to them. Each time I was left feeling empowered and free...free of some hidden chain that held me in fear that is there lurking a step before vulnerability.
Stepping into vulnerability is not about putting yourself in danger, for me it is about making the choice to do something that you are afraid of...like a naked photo shoot...yep done that too...though strangely enough I was not afraid of doing it or declaring your feelings to someone you are attracted to. If they do not reciprocate your feelings, then isn't better to know and you haven't lost anything. Those of you that say "I may loose a good friend" to you I say if they are a good friend you wont loose them, if they go, you are better of without them as they may be the reason why 'THE ONE' hasn't approached you (that's a whole different blog)
If you are considering stepping into your vulnerability as a result of reading this blog contact me for some free advice crystalangel@hotmail.co.uk or message me on facebook
One thing never do it from a place from wanting a response from another do it because you want to do it for you.
Thank you for reading, I love you
Claudia xxx
*soliciting worthiness...maybe?
" I mask my vulnerability with strength, as this is only one outward appearance and not something that reflects what is going on inside. What is within is bound to find it's way out, we all know but may have forgotten that whatever we hide or deny will eventually reveal itself, through situations we find ourselves in or people that come into our lives.
written in 2007/8
I had forgotten about writing this, however not about the feeling of the words written it makes more sense to why I began to choose to step into my vulnerability...rather than mask it. When I shared with someone about me SIMV they told me it was emotional suicide, I was shocked by this term and although it did not resonate with me this ladies words bothered me. I was later to realise that it was because I had learned to put other's wisdom before my own, ignoring my own intuition/gut instinct just because of some ones position, experience, credentials.
I choose to keep on stepping into my vulnerability (you can read about some of the in this blog http://crystalangelsxxxrandomness.blogspot.com/2011/04/stepping-into-my-vulnerability.html) even going as far as telling someone I had a crush on that I was attracted to them. Each time I was left feeling empowered and free...free of some hidden chain that held me in fear that is there lurking a step before vulnerability.
Stepping into vulnerability is not about putting yourself in danger, for me it is about making the choice to do something that you are afraid of...like a naked photo shoot...yep done that too...though strangely enough I was not afraid of doing it or declaring your feelings to someone you are attracted to. If they do not reciprocate your feelings, then isn't better to know and you haven't lost anything. Those of you that say "I may loose a good friend" to you I say if they are a good friend you wont loose them, if they go, you are better of without them as they may be the reason why 'THE ONE' hasn't approached you (that's a whole different blog)
If you are considering stepping into your vulnerability as a result of reading this blog contact me for some free advice crystalangel@hotmail.co.uk or message me on facebook
One thing never do it from a place from wanting a response from another do it because you want to do it for you.
Thank you for reading, I love you
Claudia xxx
*soliciting worthiness...maybe?
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