An open sharing from me ~♥~

I have many fears and insecurities that are surfacing right now, more than I ever thought I had...2012 has been the year for it...for me anyway. There has been a lot for me to unlearn, sometimes I can feel things lurking just beneath the surface swimming around within me, like a predator waiting to consume all the goodness in my life as if left unacknowledge or held just beneath the surface it feels like it has more power over me even though my light cannot be diminished by its darkness. Often I can name them other times I cannot and I am left feeling confused. I am so very grateful for all the people that have shown up in my life...the ones that truly see me from wherever they stand and call me into a greater KNOWING of myself...a remembering of all the things that lurk beneath are not me, I am merely the observer of them. Thank you for guiding me on my journey assisting me in everything the good the bad and the ugly...actually that is the good the gooder and the goodest, cause its all good even if it may feels crappy at times. I love you all ♥ Thank you for listening(reading) xxx

Much more

There is much more in my life that is good, than not good. There is much more that is joy-full than joy-less, there is so much more love than fear, there is much much more connection and energy flow than separation and invisible barriers. More pleasure than pain, I am more eager than reluctant. I am choosing my focus, this wonderful life begins with me, it's my world, my choice...Today I AM choosing to love it...all :D xxx

13 Women art Exhibition 2013

This month I decided to apply to be one of the 13 women in the UK 13 women Art Exhibition. http://www.iloveartuk.com/
It was an instant decision that felt like the next logical step. It felt like I was being swept along on the crest of a wave. As I began looking at the application that I needed to fill out, I got to my first self created hurdle. It asked me for my address and as I am currently house-sitting, not really knowing where I will go once it finishes, it felt like this hurdle was as high as a brick wall. 

I could feel myself backing out and backing away from this new step...a step out of my comfort zone. So I asked God/Universe/Source...just out loud, that if I was meant to apply then let the solution come to me. I went off and did other things and then it came to me just to explain my situation and put in an address any...so I used my dads address in Antigua which is where I will be from October.

I created a few other hurdles which I manoeuvred myself around which at times felt like I could just decide not to go ahead with the application. As a result of this whole experience I realise that my Saboteur was kicking in big. It came back for another go after I completed the application too, as I then began comparing my art to last years 13 women and deeming it not good enough, not intricate enough...just not enough. So I reminded myself that my art is unique, it is not just about what you see, it's about what you feel. What if a blind person was walking past one of my pieces then suddenly stopped and said "beautiful...I can so feel that" and then gave me fabulous feed back...that would be so fantastic. I so feel that happening.

I have digressed a little but I am back on it now the application is in and not a last min jobby which has been my way in the past, submitted it nice and early. Yes thoughts still arise however I somehow feel empowered to address them appropriately. Interestingly my good friend Karen has called me and wants to test her newly created Archetype 'module' which incorporates Abraham Hicks Law of Attraction stuff. It will work with the Saboteur, Prostitute, Child and Victim. I have had the feeling of low self esteem come up recently as I guess I have remnants of it lurking in my corners and was wondering how I could work though it and with whom and this too will be looked in my session with Karen, she mentioned it without even asking...I was so happy and not at all surprised. Lets go I am ready

Watch this space for updates

Thank you for reading

I love you 

Claudia xxx

Lovely me ♥

What I think and feel and what I get are always a match. And so, if I want something different than what I've been getting, I have to, somehow, generate different feelings ~ Abraham xxx

I love watching the gulls with their wings outstretched gliding on the wind, with trust ease and grace...I could be this more xxx

Lets see

I have decided not set out to do anything in this world I'm just going to be me and see what I can share along the way ;o) 


Thank you, I love you xxx

When you are in sync with the Energy of Source, which is the Energy of Well-being, Well-being is your experience. And when you're not you don't feel so good. Everything that you're living is a perfect replica of the vibration of your being ~ Abraham

life is continuing to be more amazing than I ever thought possible xxx

what if?...xxx

Can you meet me there?

Today I feel like I am on the verge of something...I feel energies bubbling within...I breathe into them they dissipate only to return. Emotion fills my heart and brings tears to my eyes for reasons I try to make clear in my mind...there are none. I wish to stand in my vulnerability and have someone meet me there standing in theirs too. Is this a possibility without someone trying to pacify my feelings or theirs...standing in my truth and integrity can be a challenge as sometimes I want to call people out when their words or actions do not match what I feel from them and this leaves me feeling confused...so I hold back and say nothing...I know they are a reflection of me. Open honest communication in truth...is that to much to ask...it starts with me...I'm ready...who will meet me there.

xxx

You are blessed beings, who deserve Well-being, and Well-being is making its way to you at all times. If you will relax and find a way to allow it it will be your experience ~ Abraham xxx

Anything you do to overcome or prevent, causes a spotlight on the very thing you are wanting to overcome and prevent. You cannot take enough action to compensate for the Energy that you're flowing ~ Abraham ~ Perfect quote for me today xxx

It was good to feel myself return to my heart before sleep last night...without even trying xxx

Letting go of operating from someone else's perspective...it takes some practice xxx

Beautiful day

Oh beautiful day what joy it is to awaken to thee, my breath is sweet with the nectar of your gentle presence and fills my heart with unimaginable joy...can you feel me as I feel you...but of course...we are one xxx 

How does it get any better than this. What else is possible? xxx

Love and appreciation are identical vibrations.Appreciation is the vibration of alignment with who-you-are. Appreciation is the absence of everything that feels bad and the presence of everything that feels good. When you focus upon what you want - when you tell the story of how you want your life to be - you will come closer and closer to the vicinity of appreciation, and when you reach it, it will pull you toward all things that you consider to be good in a very powerful way ~ Abraham xxx

I love it when the warmth of the sun on my face is what gently awakens me in the morning. I love it when I have a yummy breakfast, I love it when my day starts with a smile, I love it when I sit in a light bright kitchen having breakfast, chatting and laughing, I love it when the sky is blue without any clouds, I love it when I can see the sea from my bedroom window and even better from my balcony, I love it when there are pretty flowers in the room, I love it when I sit out on the decking in the sun and even though its not as warm as it looks its still yummy, I love it when I here a bird sing and I say show yourself and they reveal themselves to me xxx

Love and appreciation are identical vibrations.Appreciation is the vibration of alignment with who-you-are. Appreciation is the absence of everything that feels bad and the presence of everything that feels good. When you focus upon what you want - when you tell the story of how you want your life to be - you will come closer and closer to the vicinity of appreciation, and when you reach it, it will pull you toward all things that you consider to be good in a very powerful way ~ Abraham xxx

Lynx works for women too

I was in London/Enfield last weekend, I went to a 50th birthday party and Salsa on Sunday. 


Just before going out to Salsa I had a moment of...what could I call it...'emotional surfacing of feelings' where feelings of sadness and anger came up. Lately I have been aware of my masculine and feminine essence and to be honest I have more masculine that feminine at the moment...have had for a while. It comes from a lot of things...doing for myself in the way of survival as I see it is one, learning to rely on me. 


So cut back to sunday evening and I am getting ready, pretty dress, legs on show...then thoughts came to me 'how do I remain in my feminine essence and still manage to get lots of dances tonight?' 'there are always more women than men' 'I won't stand a chance' 'I would prefer to be asked but I also want to dance lots tonight' by the time I had finished with my thoughts I really did not want to go anywhere. I have done this in the past where I would decide at the last min especially if I was going on my own, not to go. I then found that another feeling was arising in me, one of anger. 


I vented my angry feelings by shouting out loud, feeling bothered by the fact I was still single after four years and that before the last relationship I was single for five, I vented the fact that yes people found me attractive and a nice person so why was I still single, I vented about how do I soft my edges and still get a dance at salsa. As I vented and shouted...then all of a sudden the anger dissapated.


I felt better instantly, I was aware of how sudden the change was and some how missed it's intensity and strange feeling of comfort. I was puzzeld by this, however let it go just as easy. As I walked to Salsa I realised that I had not put any deorderant on when I got out the bath as I could not find it and thought I had a small can in the bag with my salsa shoes, it was not there. I would be able to borrow some I thought, however when I got to Salsa none of the ladies had any (which was very odd) the only deorderant I could find was a mans Lynx to be exact. So I thought I want to remain in my feminine essence and you bring me Lynx...not funny I thought through my giggles...I couldn't make ths stuff up. 


So I use the Lynx what else could I do...well yes I could have stuck to my natural scent and been paranoid about it so I went with the Lynx.


Lo and behold I managed to attract the attention of two men one of which gave me his undivided attention, summoned me onto the dance floor with masculine latin charm, whispered in my ear of how I came out of his dreams and on to the dance floor, kissed my neck...it was unreal like I was watching a movie. I couldn't help but laugh at the irony of it all. My friends were wondering what was happening, what had I done, the only thing I could put it down to was the Lynx it was such a turn around. 


Even more so now I am care-full of what I wish for but also I am allowing myself to feel the feelings and emotions that arise to their full extent rather than pacify them in some way with a affirmation or a reason. Pushing them down and not acknowledging is no longer something I want to do. I intend to live my life differently and to do that I have to do it differently.


I love this life I am living it's fun to expand and grow...looking forward to bigger and better experiences in which I feel good.


Thank you


Love Claudia xxx

Suggestion:1

Relationship tip: pay attention to the things you like in another...really go to town, noticing all their lovely aspects...allow the feeling to resonate in your heart and spiral outward 


single: remember you're still in a relationship...with yourself...the most important relationship of your life. Become the observer of yourself...notice your lovely aspects too


Thank you xxx

SEE

Remember you are always looking from the inside out...the filters of your perception are based on your experience, those you commune with are you...are you willing to SEE...open the eyes of your heart xxx

I have learnt about myself to do with :- joy ~ I often try to hold to the good stuff that happens in my life, with a tight grip, holding on for 'dear life', tensing up...for fear of the moment of joy being the only one I will ever experience...like its limited. It's not...it has been my inherent belief however I now know this to be False Evidence Appearing Real...for me at least, only my belief in it keeps it real and makes it true. I practice relaxing into my joy feeling it in every cell...letting my body know this is natural and its ok. Thus sending a message to the Universe to connect me to more moments like it xxx

Earth Energy

I feel the ground I walk on

I am present in this time and space

I am present in the here and now, this human body

I am this earth and the heavens above

I am one with Mother earth and Farther God

I see and feel all things in this moment in time

This place is my home

And all on it my family

Brothers and Sisters we are one

I have no fear

All that is…is

All that I am…I am

What will be…will be

Dare to bare yourself to the world 

Italy 2007 

Written after walking a Labyrinth like this one on the beach in Sestri Levante, Italy 2007

Masking vulnerability with...

Yesterday I found an old note book (I have loads) it was one from my role as a service team leader for post office tutors ~ I am soliciting for something by stating that not sure what *yet ~ I came to a page where I wrote about masking my vulnerability, I thought it was a good read and wanted to share it.


" I mask my vulnerability with strength, as this is only one outward appearance and not something that reflects what is going on inside. What is within is bound to find it's way out, we all know but may have forgotten that whatever we hide or deny will eventually reveal itself, through situations we find ourselves in or people that come into our lives. 

We have the choice then to deal with our vulnerability by facing it or hiding...however just like a game of hide and seek you will be found or you will have to reveal yourself, both have the same outcome, one just takes longer"
written in 2007/8


I had forgotten about writing this, however not about the feeling of the words written it makes more sense to why I began to choose to step into my vulnerability...rather than mask it. When I shared with someone about me SIMV they told me it was emotional suicide, I was shocked by this term and although it did not resonate with me this ladies words bothered me. I was later to realise that it was because I had learned to put other's wisdom before my own, ignoring my own intuition/gut instinct just because of some ones position, experience, credentials. 


I choose to keep on stepping into my vulnerability (you can read about some of the in this blog http://crystalangelsxxxrandomness.blogspot.com/2011/04/stepping-into-my-vulnerability.html) even going as far as telling someone I had a crush on that I was attracted to them. Each time I was left feeling empowered and free...free of some hidden chain that held me in fear that is there lurking a step before vulnerability. 


Stepping into vulnerability is not about putting yourself in danger, for me it is about making the choice to do something that you are afraid of...like a naked photo shoot...yep done that too...though strangely enough I was not afraid of doing it or declaring your feelings to someone you are attracted to. If they do not reciprocate your feelings, then isn't better to know and you haven't lost anything. Those of you that say "I may loose a good friend" to you I say if they are a good friend you wont loose them, if they go, you are better of without them as they may be the reason why 'THE ONE' hasn't approached you (that's a whole different blog)


If you are considering stepping into your vulnerability as a result of reading this blog contact me for some free advice crystalangel@hotmail.co.uk or message me on facebook


One thing never do it from a place from wanting a response from another do it because you want to do it for you.  


Thank you for reading, I love you 


Claudia xxx


*soliciting worthiness...maybe?

Rampage into a feel good place

Today I thought I would share this LOA rampage on Abundance from Abraham-Hicks

In-joy

Abundance

I am abundant in nature, and well being is always coming to me

I am often understood by the people that I'm interacting with

I am loving this life that I am living and its fun to expand and grow

I love the contrast of my environment which helps me to continue to identify the things that I want and often - in fact usually I'm not a vibrational match to everything that I want, but I can feel the difference and I know how to lean in the direction of what I want and my life just gets better and better 

I am surrounded by people that are like me learning about life and its really fun to be in this physical body and expand 

I get the sense of who I am and often when I'm really not paying attention, I can feel the source within me wrapping those non-physical arm around me and through me I can get that non-physical hug from the inside out and sometimes I can just feel the well being of my being, - sometimes I get glimpses of what's in my vibrational energy,

I am really enjoying how my life is beginning to unfold. And I am noticing that the people around me are more and more enjoying their life also and I am feeling a freedom from detaching myself from what they're thinking and from what they're wanting from me. 

I am doing such a good job of living my life I am starting to realise the reason that I came forth into this physical experience. Things are coming easier and easier,

I am beginning to understand how the universe flows, and I am beginning to understand the vibrational world, I am beginning to leverage my time more by pre-paving more things,

I am becoming more of mental being, I am not reacting to so many things, I am lining up more, I am sensitive to the energy, (if) I'm feeling strong negative emotions, as sometimes things really rub me the wrong way, that's a good thing because that means something is out of sync with what I am wanting,

I'm getting more intuitive about people, I can feel when they're levelling with me, I can feel when they're not, I can feel when it's to my advantage to interact with them, I can feel when it isn't, I am becoming more intuitive.  My senses are out there in advance, I am doing a better job of pre-paving. People like me, I am doing well everywhere I go.

Good ideas flow to me constantly, I always have a good time, I have fun wherever I am.  There's co-operation around me all the time. 

New ideas are flowing to me constantly.  I never get enough of this physical experience.

I love living life, I am feeling so vital and alive, I love the people that have surrounded me, I love the variety of people. I can see the diversity and the talents in the people that are around me and I realise what a wonderful team that we are working together.

I am appreciating the people of this planet more and more.  I love the co-operative nature that we are all about.

I love knowing that we are all casting our vibrational votes. I love knowing that there is no injustice, I love knowing that everybody gets exactly what they are offering vibrationally. I love knowing that I'm getting exactly what I'm offering vibrationally.

I love knowing that I am responsible for the way my life is unfolding. 

I love getting into this appreciative mode.  Because the better it gets, the better it gets, the better it gets.

I'm eager about this life experience, I want everybody to have the fun that I am having in this life experience. I know the potential for fun is there for all of them. 

I love being the clear example that I am, I love offering my vibration deliberately and I love watching all of the universal factors lining things up.

I love how circumstances and events come into alignment to give me evidence – post manifestational evidence of how I am doing vibrationally. 

I love knowing that it doesn't matter what's going on right now because I can keep telling a new story. 

I love knowing that it doesn't even matter how good my story is right now.  It might not even be close to the best story that I can tell, but I love knowing that I can continue to tell a better and better story -

I love knowing that the co-operative Universe will keep matching my better and better story.  I love knowing that I have the option to focus, I love knowing that I am the centre of my Universe I love knowing that it's a vibrational Universe,

I love knowing that law of attraction is utterly consistent and will never bring me anything that's not a vibrational match. I love knowing that everything that I get is because of something that I've been saying chronically. I love knowing that I can morph the story, I can tell a different story.

I love the co-operating universe that will continue to give me evidence that I have changed the story that I am telling. I love knowing that I never get it wrong and that I can’t get it done and that no matter where I'm standing there will always be new data that's coming -

I love the people that are surrounding me that are playing the same game I am playing.

I love knowing that we are all here as vibrational entities, that we are all extensions of source energy and that we are all much more in harmony with each other than we are not in harmony with each other. 

I love knowing that every particle of the universe has that which is wanted and that which is not wanted. I love knowing that every person with whom I interact there are things I like about them and things I don't like about them and it’s up to me to focus on the part of them that I want more in my life experience. I love knowing how co-operative many of them will be. I love knowing that even from the most tuned in, tapped in, turned on person, I can extract from them something more tuned in, tapped in, turned on because I am a powerful creator. 

I'll get from every body whatever it is that I focus upon. 

I am responsible for my experience, 

I get the complete credit for everything that is happening to me. 

I love the stability of this time space reality, but I love even more the stability of the eternal nature that is me. 

I love my expansion, I love where I am, I love where I am going, I love where I've been. 

That's the story I am telling!!!  

I love who I am

Abraham

Try reading this out loud every day, I haven't done that for a while, about a year (used to do it every day) when I did it today I realise this is my life and it made me giggle...give it a go...what have you got to lose.

Thank you, I love you 

Claudia xxx 

Joy

Everything I create is Divinely guided, I do so easily and effortlessly through peace love and joy and in doing so everything I create brings peace love and joy. 

Thank you, I love you 


Claudia xxx


Day 11

Today

Today has been amazing, I am so grateful for where I am, where I have been and where I am going. Appreciating it all is the key to flow. 


I am wherever I am,doing whatever it is I am doing for a specific reason that is unknown by me. An effect of transformation is put into motion that is relevant to whoever is there, whatever is there wherever there is. We all do...it's all relative.


Thank you, I love you  


Day 6

Experience for yourself

‎"Never, ever trade your own experience for someone else's words about anything that is really important. Like God, for instance. Or love. Or what is true about another.....words may help you understand something, but
experience allows you to know" Neale Donald Walsh 
xxx










Day 5

Packing up my S...tuff

Ok so I am meant to be packing instead of blogging, fbooking, walking on the beach, drawing trees etc, etc.






I am finding packing bothersome, necessary but bothersome. I know why, I have a lot of things that I SHOULD chuck however I am finding it difficult to let go of stuff, silly little things in some cases and meaningful things in other cases like the matchbox car my daughter played with or her first sowing project. Also packing up my stuff makes brings forth the thought this is all you have to show for yourself. 


The voice of my parents yes, that always seems loudest when I am packing (I have moved 4 times in 2 years) I have known for sometime now that I am not things, they do not define me but I guess there is a part of me that still holds on to the belief that it does as right now I can hardly breathe and my face feels like t is on fire...oooh that's good I wasn't aware of that. So now I realise this hidden belief what do I do...I know what I think I SHOULD do but will, we will see, as for now lets see if I can change my vibration about packing with a game of I like it when.


I like it when packing goes well
I like it when it flows with ease
I like it when I have a box for everything I need to pack
I like it when the boxes I have are perfect for packing. 
I like it when I can see easily what I need to do.
I like it when everything get packed easily. 
I like it when I unpack and find everything I need just when I need it.
I like it when packing turns out to be easier than it first felt.
I like it when I have finished and there is lots of time to just relax and chill.
I like it when I have finished packing and I find myself saying "that was easy"
I like it when I get to the new address and I take out my easy button and I press it with glee.
I like it when I go to bed feeling like I have done enough. 


I feel better, that was all I wanted, this also helped from a lovely guy called Danny 

just imagine that you are already there .....at least visualise how good it will feel when the last box has been unpacked...........then you will be home .....stay in your home frequency .......it will be done ,it will be done ,it will be done........it is done ,it is done, it is done xxx

Thank you, I love you 


Day 4

Blustery day xxx

What a contrast to yesterday weather wise. As I watch form my ivory tower, I can see the movement in the air, I can feel the cleansing of the rains, blustery and determined to clear all that is no longer needed. I watch the energies in the air seeking, moving and clearing relentlessly, as we ask so we are given...change is inevitable <3 xxx

  so my first video and my learning is make sure the counter is at the bottom of the screen  lol still posting it, perfection comes through practice ;o) 


I love you, thank you 


Claudia xxx


Day 3

Disheartened? When did you stop believing?

‎"In some shamanic societies, if you came to a medicine person complaining of being disheartened, dispirited, or depressed, they would ask six questions:

When did you stop dancing?
When did you stop singing?
When did you stop believing?
... ... When did you stop loving?
When did you stop being enchanted by stories?
When did you stop finding comfort in the sweet territory of silence?"

- Gabrielle Roth

My word of the Year

I have read two things recently that talk about choosing a word for the year. I haven't read all of Krishna's blog but after reading the first one I thought I would give it a go, Natalia's blog offers you a link to a worksheet (free) to help you find your word. This seemed long and I haven't done it (honesty is my best policy) however I may just see if I can use some of what it suggests.


http://catalystsforhealth.com/setting-the-course-for-2012-with-a-wor

http://krishnasurroy.com/intentions/what-is-your-word-of-the-year-mine-is-fire/


I will read all of Krishna's blog at some point, but just wanted to share my word and how it came to me.


So I went to bed thinking, ' I'm not feeling the worksheet' so I will ask my subconscious to choose a word for me and the first word upon my waking will be the one. Well when I woke up there were two words 'THINK and FEEL' well I thought maybe I would just use the first one as it was meant to be one word, however the words came as a pair...meaning I couldn't say one without the other following, so I decided that would be my word. I could not seem to shake the fact that it was meant to be one word so asked the Universe to reveal to me what one word would describe the two, yesterday while writing my blog it was revealed to me...VIBRATION...perfect so perfect. 

I started using it straight away and mention it in yesterday's blog and have used it many times today, just by checking in on where my vibration is on whatever it is I am wanting and whatever it is that is going on. 


Thinking about what I would like then literally feeling it, I do this any way, however not to the level that I am doing this year, I look forward to sharing my results.


I love you, I am sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you 


Claudia xxx


Day 2 ♥

All about men...kind of

My first post of the year is going to be about men, what I have observed about myself to do with them. It will be interesting to see how much I share...I will always be as honest as I can be.


Where do I start...as you can see/feel I write as I think which can be very random at times.


I found myself feeling very attracted to a particular man I've seen...one that quite funnily I spied on a train journey from Victoria to Eastbourne this Goddess of a man got off at Gatwick (yes I said goddess of a man) then turned up 4 months later at a ceremony honouring divine masculine and divine feminine


When I sat on the train he sat in the section near me...or did I sit near him I cannot remember and right now it does not matter. He travelled with a younger male to which he looked to be brother/guide/mentor or something of that sort. He sat opposite me but on the adjacent isle, feathers hanging from one ear, bearded, long hair in a scruffy sexy american Indian type pony tail.


He took his jumper off to reveal strong arms that had a particular tattoo that surprised and delighted me, it was a tribal type that went around the arm, how ever it was a band of shields. One of the two shields was the shape that came to me only a couple of days before when I was shown to make Archangel Michael shields as protectors for people to wear or place in their cars, I wasn't even sure at the time that that shape shield existed though I must of seen it somewhere, the patterning was exact. 


I giggled to myself and told my guides they were not funny however I was secretly pleased with how they got me to pay attention. I took great delight in sharing in the essence of this very rugged man, I bathed in the glory of such a beauty. When he received a phone call I assumed it was his girlfriend and tried not to listen as he spoke in a tender voice to her, still remaining very much in his essence of man.


At this stage I somehow deemed it inappropriate to allow myself to appreciate this fine specimen because he had a girlfriend. I guess I was not just appreciating, I had started polarising into the future and wanting something to happen (as I do) I had conditions!


I checked myself in this moment of realisation and allowed myself to go back to appreciating this gorgeous man, liking a lot his strong gentle voice, the harmonious way he spoke, his kind words, his use of endearments and the obvious and true sentiment behind them, I loved the way he interacted with the lady that wondered if she was in the right part of the train. Talking clearly and with ease, reassuring her with just the tone of his words. I enjoyed his interaction with the younger male, the energy was supportive, nurturing and empowering. I let myself appreciate this man in all his masculine glory bidding him a silent farewell and a lovely journey thinking what a lucky lady his girlfriend is, revelling in the mere crossing of paths and the joy this simple thing brought me, not considering our paths would ever cross again. 


It did 4 months later at the winter solstice offering while anointing the men with a Jasmine oil, I was on my knees in front of this man, it was not until the ceremony was over I let myself fully take it in. 


I found myself feeling very apprehensive around the men not really feeling that I wanted to engage in conversation after our ceremony had ended. I had thought it was because I did not have anything to say to any of them, in a small way I felt I was running scared but not, I guess it was adrenalin. When I got home I realised I hadn't really wanted to have conversations around, what people did, or who they were, their job, my job blah blah blah not because I am not interested, because I can be a right old nosey. It was in that moment I did not think I could do it, it felt like pretence to me like I would not be being real...anyway I digress.


Back to the man thing...hmmm what was my point I am not sure as I seem to have gone off on one. Ahh! So I realise that I (and I have known this for sometime now) place men out of my league, based on myself really esteem, confidence whatever it maybe, however I tell myself it has to do with them, what they do, what they look like...I digress again so I am going straight to the point.

My vibration is out of whack for what I am wanting, I know this because of:


1) What I am attracting ~ men that are attracted to me that are less than desirable that people around me voice their concerns (I am not being mean) about my welfare


2) Feeling very drawn to men that don't really see me and feeling very nervous around them. (I realised today I am their number 3


3) Sensing that some men are afraid to even approach me even if they like me. 


So my experiment is to  


Be clear to the men at number 1
Step up to the men at number 2 and channel my adrenalin of nervous energy to create some magic...I know I can do this, what form it will take is unknown however I will not be using (the) force (Luke)  


Open my heart even more to the men at number 3 be kind and see them as me ,actually do this in all cases, they are me after all.


Return to my heart space as many times during the day as I can.


Write a list of appreciation regarding lovely men I meet on here as well as in my book of appreciation, it felt good to do it  today with train guy. 


Be mindful of acting conditionally.


Have fun 


I love you, Thank you, I am sorry, Please forgive me


Claudia xxx
  
Day 1 of matrix re-imprinting